Wednesday, June 17, 2009

A California Parable 

I don't know how to pound the truth into the California legislature's heads, other than to impeach them all, but trying to draw a parable to the working class -- of whom they have no understanding whatsoever -- might at least sell my argument to the rest of the world.

In short, it's this: you work in California, imagine it's a minimum wage job. The state minimum wage is $ 8.00 -- $ 320.00 a week, $ 16,640.00 per year. Okay, in real life, no one could live on that, but let's imagine you can. You can pay the rent, the utilities, insurance, and food, but no more.

You do your job every day, show up nine to five -- but nor more nor less, and take every vacation day imaginable.

Then, one day, you decide that you're not making enough for the work you do. You go to your boss and demand a raise. Your boss refuses, but you figure "Screw it." So -- you take out credit cards. Many, many credit cards. You buy expensive shiat, you act like you make $ 50K a year, you live high on the hog...

And then -- the credit card bills come due. And while your putative salary is only $ 16,640.00 per year, your debt is $ 150,000 and growing. What do you do? Well, you march into your boss's office, hold them at knife point, until they have no choice but to turn over their salary, sell their office furniture and do whatever they can to help you maintain your life-style.

Pretty ridiculous, isn't it? Except that -- this is exactly what the State Government of California is trying to do to you, and you have to remember one thing: They have the roles of Boss and Employer exactly backwards.

Let's look at that scenario again...

You're elected to the state legislature, and the budget via property taxes is limited by Proposition 13, or "minimum wage." You mange to live on that, paying social services, insurance, unemployment, and not much more. This is called breaking even.

Then, one day, you decide that the Sacramento Fat Cats are not making enough for the minimum work you do. You go to the people and demand a raise, via higher taxes. Their repsponse is "Up yours." But you figure "Screw it." You take out loans, issue bonds -- many, many bonds. You buy expensive shiat (which only benefits yourself and not your boss), you act like you make $ 50 billion a year, you live high on the hog...

And then -- the bonds come due. And while your budget is technically one amount, your debt is ten times that amount, and growing. What do you do? Well, you tell the people, "Hey, guess what? You poor saps have to pay for all of this."

Well, us poor saps have had enough. Just like capitalistic bosses would have sacked the asses of underlings who had the nerve to ask them to sell the office furniture to pay for their HDTVs, the voters of California should take up arms and instantly un-employee all the assholes in Sacramento.

It's really simple. You were given a minimum wage via Prop 13. You've failed to live within your means. You belong on the streets, homeless, all your credit cards cancelled and cut up by your parents -- We, the People, who never really approved them. Or, if we did approve them, never approved the expenses, because you lied to us, you annoying zit-faced teens.

Time for California to grow up. Ahnuld? Boxy? Feisty? Waxy? Sorry -- you've failed. Fall on your swords now, or be pushed on them next November. The four of you have destoyed this state for your own gain. None of you deserve to ever hold high office again -- and will be lucky to get out of the offices you hold alive -- and should only have to live on $ 8.00 an hour for the rest of your sorry ass lives.

California is best governed by Californians, as crazy as Nebraska thinks we are. Three months ago, President Obama was ready to hold us up as a standard for green energy. Today? Hell, even Texas is laughing.

And even Iowa. How the hell did we inherit Bush's Extreme Court? California has overturned Same-Sex Marriage. Which is time to reboot. California is not Kansas. But the shithead powers in Sacramento have made sure we have been since at least 1990.

Tar and pitchforks over here. Gavin Newsom to the statehouse. Everyone else -- go to hell.

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