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Thursday, May 27, 2004

Perversely Amusing... or Fucking Scary? 

I'm sure, by now, most people have heard the "Nixon was too drunk to take a phone call" story. There's a certain perverse justice in thinking that one of the worst presidents of all-time was teetering around the Oval Office while his staff ran interference for him. And, of course, I can't help but thinking that a certain other worst president of all-time is doing the same thing now.

But, consider this story:
In the midst of the 1973 war, as defeat was imminent, Israel equipped their American supplied F-4 Phantoms with nuclear warheads. Golda Meir then announced to Nixon that "America either airlift pilots and jets to save Israel or they would launch a nuclear attack on Syria and Egypt and others..."
The Yom Kippur War ran from October 6, 1973 through October 24th. The date of Kissinger's conversation -- October 11, 1973. So, it's a toss-up. Was Nixon plastered because of Meir's ultimatum? That's the charitable view and, hell, if I had a minor ally threatening to start nuclear war and I were president, I'd probably toss back a few myself.

But... if it were the other way around, and Nixon was just a lush at this point, it makes Meir's ultimatum scarier. "Mr. President, what do you want to do about this?" "Ah, jus' a bunsh of Arab's. Fuck 'em. Let Goldielocks bomb away..."

So -- we still don't know whether Nixon's drinking damn near brought on WW III, or whether it was a reaction to the potential of such a conflict. But pondering these two events together, we need to demand some explanations from the White House; as in, why does George Bush seem to fall down and hurt his face so damn often? Why does he have difficulty pronouncing words in speeches that he's rehearsed? (Abu Ghraib wasn't the only one; I distinctly heard him say "ambasshador" in that same speech.) Is he drinking again and, if so, is he fit for office?

After all, if Nixon's delayed phone call had been from Isreal's Golda Meir instead of Great Britain's Edward Heath, the middle east and half the planet might now be celebrating its 30th year as a smoking, radioactive crater populated only by cockroaches...

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