Spin Dry

This is the height of ridiculousness. I wouldn't even believe it without pics, and I'm still hoping that it was just some sort of cute joke. But... here's what allegedly happened at Denver International Airport...



Oh my god, that's right. Somebody stop those penguins, because they may be armed and dangerous. I mean, what? Did somebody see Batman Returns and take the plot a little bit too seriously?

THEY'RE FUCKING PENGUINS, FOR GOD'S SAKE!!!

Sorry, I don't usually yell in the blog. But what possible motive could penguins have for committing terrorist acts? Where the hell would they even smuggle weapons? It's not like they even have thumbs.

Probably the most infuriating part of this story is that the Denver Channel doesn't express outrage over the total waste that it is. No, they play it as the "Oh, look at the cutesy penguins going through the metal detector."

What next? Strip-searching toddlers? Confiscating grandma's walker because it's made out of metal? Okay, how about this. Let's just start marching all passengers onto the planes butt-nekkid, and then flood the cabin with sleeping gas before take off. You want absolute safety on a plane? That's the only way to do it.

But penguins? PENGUINS? Again, what possible...

Huh? Oh, yeah. Well, there is this. Yeah, that would piss off a penguin, I'm sure...