Spin Dry

A disturbing story which should give conservatives pause as well as liberals; the former for the government sticking its long nose into people's private business, the latter for government trying to legislate morality -- and 19th Century morality at that. A taste:

Deborah Hobbs, 40, says her boss, Sheriff Carson Smith of Pender County, near Wilmington, told her to get married, move out or find another job after he found out she and her boyfriend had been living together for three years. The couple did not want to get married, so Hobbs quit.

Now, I think Hobbs took a slightly wrong tack on this. If it had been me, I would have said, "I'm not getting married, I'm not moving out, and I'm not quitting. If you don't like it, fucking fire me and tell me why in writing, you floviating asshat. And be sure to charge me with breaking that law."

As it turns out, Hobbs, with the help of the ACLU, is suing to have the law declared unconstitutional. I hope she prevails in her suit and, given the US Supreme Court's smackdown of a Texas anti-sodomy law in 2003, this bit of ancient legislation may go bye-bye as well. In case you're wondering, there are seven states with this kind of boneheaded law. In addition to North Carolina, they are: Virginia, West Virginia, Florida, Michigan, Mississippi and North Dakota.

This reminds me of a run-in I had with my insurance company back in the days when I was a starving post-college grad, and so living with room-mates. I moved in with two friends, both male, but one of them (of French-Canadian ancestry) had a first name that is more commonly a woman's name in English speaking countries. I updated my insurance info and they tried to cancel me. Their logic? They wouldn't insure two boys and a girl living together because blah blah blah... I think it had something to do with roommate's girlfriend having a fight with him and stealing my car, or some such bullshit. I was amused and outraged at the same time; called up my agent and said, "R____ is a guy, you dumbshit." They re-instated my policy. But I'm just disappointed that we never went with plan A, whereby my male roommate of the genderly confusing name was going to visit my insurance agent and drop his junk on the desk.

And, of course, they never had a problem with three guys (or three girls) living together, never groking to the fact that it could be a gay couple and an extra, and exactly what they feared would happen.

But... the point is, my insurance company, like the state of North Carolina, really has no fucking business judging the living arrangements of anyone. Period. If I want to shack up with a gay couple, three lesbian midgets, a transvestite mime and six llamas, so what? If an adult man and woman want to live together in a loving relationship without benefit of the state saying they're married, so what? If they want to have children, so what? Short of bestiality, pedophilia and necrophilia (the holy trinity of truly icky) there's nothing that consenting adults do with each other that should be any business of anyone but the consenting adults. It doesn't become a matter for the state until it intrudes on someone else. And yes, if you're reading me carefully, I do think that polygamy, polyandry, etc., should be legal as well. If it works for the people involved, then it works. If the bluehairs down the street don't like it -- well, they just need a good hard ramming up the ass and a few porn DVDs.

Which might not be a bad prescription for the dipstick Sheriff who decided that Deborah Hobbs wasn't good enough to work for him. I hope his department loses an assload of money on a civil suit, and the state loses a repressive, ridiculous, unnecessary law on the constitutional question.

Now, excuse me. Time to go feed the llamas...