Friday, August 12, 2005
Castration
I've never read The Da Vinci Code, mostly because I've read Holy Blood, Holy Grail, the non-fiction work from which most of the plot of the former was stolen. But, apparently, Sony, the studio backing the film version of the novel, is getting cold feet and bending over backwards to placate pissy Catholics.
So, they're going to remove the elements that are most important to the story, the idea that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had children. Welp, if you've read HBHG, you know that the entire concept behind The Da Vinci Code is that Jesus established a bloodline, which went on to become the Merovingian Kings of France, that the whole thing went to shit when Dagobert was murdered, and various factions then spent centuries either trying to suppress or trying to expose the truth. (Side note: I'm a direct descendent of that dead Dagobert, so I'm theoretically a direct descendent of the dead Carpenter as well.)
Anyway... since when did the Catholic church become the Board of Censors for American films? (Oops. Forgot about that annoying "Banned in Boston" business of the 50s.) If they don't like it, they can go get stuffed. Or they can make their own damn movie. And they've certainly got the money to do it.
But... if Sony cuts out the good parts from The Da Vinci Code, then I've got less than no interest in seeing it. I'm going to tell them that, and everyone else who just wants to see a work of fiction translated accurately to the screen without religious diddling should do the same. Because, after all, if the details mentioned above are deleted from this movie, there's no point in making it.
Final reminder to the censors: Jesus was called Rabbi in the bible and, according to Jewish law, in order for a man to be a Rabbi (at the time) he had to be married. Chew on that, all you celibate priests.
And leave your stinking hands off my celluloid. Although, why any studio should have to kowtow to these religious freaks is beyond me. Case in point: Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ. Catholics bitched about it, Universal changed nothing -- and consequently, the film made far more money than it would have otherwise.
If Sony wants to make an assload of cash on The Da Vinci Code, then all they have to do is let it out with no censorship.
So, they're going to remove the elements that are most important to the story, the idea that Jesus married Mary Magdalene and had children. Welp, if you've read HBHG, you know that the entire concept behind The Da Vinci Code is that Jesus established a bloodline, which went on to become the Merovingian Kings of France, that the whole thing went to shit when Dagobert was murdered, and various factions then spent centuries either trying to suppress or trying to expose the truth. (Side note: I'm a direct descendent of that dead Dagobert, so I'm theoretically a direct descendent of the dead Carpenter as well.)
Anyway... since when did the Catholic church become the Board of Censors for American films? (Oops. Forgot about that annoying "Banned in Boston" business of the 50s.) If they don't like it, they can go get stuffed. Or they can make their own damn movie. And they've certainly got the money to do it.
But... if Sony cuts out the good parts from The Da Vinci Code, then I've got less than no interest in seeing it. I'm going to tell them that, and everyone else who just wants to see a work of fiction translated accurately to the screen without religious diddling should do the same. Because, after all, if the details mentioned above are deleted from this movie, there's no point in making it.
Final reminder to the censors: Jesus was called Rabbi in the bible and, according to Jewish law, in order for a man to be a Rabbi (at the time) he had to be married. Chew on that, all you celibate priests.
And leave your stinking hands off my celluloid. Although, why any studio should have to kowtow to these religious freaks is beyond me. Case in point: Martin Scorsese's The Last Temptation of Christ. Catholics bitched about it, Universal changed nothing -- and consequently, the film made far more money than it would have otherwise.
If Sony wants to make an assload of cash on The Da Vinci Code, then all they have to do is let it out with no censorship.
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