Spin Dry

Well, looks like the fake NY terror scare scam has been unveiled -- yes, the "19 bombers with baby strollers" story was a hoax, but the timing was very... convenient, coming as it did right as Tom DeLay was being indicted and Patrick Fitzgerald was creeping closer to catching Rove and Cheney in his net.

And now, the next bit of "booga booga", yet another al Qaeda "threat". Or is it?

Senior U.S. intelligence officials call a letter from al Qaeda's No. 2 man to its leader in Iraq "chilling" because of how "calm, clear and well argued" it is in urging preparation for a U.S. departure from Iraq.

According to a translation of the 6,300-word letter provided by the U.S. government, Ayman al-Zawahiri predicts "the Americans will exit soon" from Iraq and says "things may develop faster than we imagine."

And, um... aren't we arresting al Qaeda's "Number 2" every other week? The letter, if it even exists, is nothing but fake propaganda, and really means nothing.

I imagine a time, maybe twenty years down the road, when Hollywood finally makes a satirical film about the fiasco of the last five years. Running gag: some anonymous Arab man is approached by a shadowy figure, who says, "You are now number two", and Arab man dissolves into a pants-wetting freak-out, since the entire function of al Qaeda number twos seems to be getting arrested by the US.

Sigh. It's a bullshit fest. Real terrorists will never give warnings or indications. That's counterproductive. I mean, c'mon. Would Osama bin Laden really have sent a video out to the Arab media announcing the date, time and method of 9/11? Of course not. He might have sent the chuckle and gloat movie out afterwards (if, indeed, that was really him in it, and there's some doubt about that), but the chief weapon that terrorist groups have (by definition, much smaller and weaker than their targets), is secrecy.

So... whenever you hear of some al Qaeda "threat" coming via any media, it's a safe bet to ignore it. And when it's being touted by our government and media, keep your eye on the real story -- whatever latest black-eye to the administration they're trying to distract you from.

That sound you hear is Scooter Libby being dragged before a grand jury, and then turning state's evidence to keep his ass out of Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison.

The day our government announces a "real, credible threat" to nuke some major city is the day that Karl Rove's ass is going down.

And, ask yourself this -- why hasn't the magic terror alert moved to Orange, despite all these threats and whatnot?

Um-hm. Exactly.