Spin Dry

So, apparently, there was some baseball game or another today that decided the fate of the Western World, and I couldn't give less than two warm shits. I guess this team lost, and that team won, and there's going to be something called the World Series -- even though it only involves teams from the United States. And, all the while, I think some football teams (American sense) are starting to battle it out, and all I can say is... WHO CARES?

Okay, so the Angels didn't make it into the World Series, and Chicago did, and who knows who else did, but, again -- WHO CARES?

Pay attention to the important things, people. In fifty years, or five years, or five months, no one is going to give a rat's ass who won the 2005 World Series. Or, tell me quick -- who played the Super Bowl this year, and who won...? Who won the Oscar for best Actor/Actress/Picture?

You have two seconds to answer.

Now -- who bombed Pearl Harbor?

Who lost WWII?

Who invaded Kuwait in 1991?

Who was Paul Revere warning about when he said, "One if by land, two if by sea"?

Who was Benedict Arnold?

Who won the World Series in 1932?

Who was Best Actress of 1954?

Who was elected President in: 1980? 1996? 2004?

Which actress's daughter was charged with manslaughter in 1958?

Who won the World Series last year?

And... etc. The point is this: political events will last forever. Sports, entertainment, bullshit -- will be forgotten in a month. So, the California (not, never ever Los Angeles) Angels didn't make it into the World Series? Boo-fucking-whooo.

Repeat it after me, kids. Sports scores, sports teams, sports "news" -- mean nothing. Show biz "news", show biz gossip, show biz info -- mean nothing.

And all the "super" crap of this time of year -- the "World" (not) series, the NFL Playoffs, the Super (hah!) Bowl, this team, that team, t'other team -- who gives a flying shit. It means nothing. It's all just a distraction from the real news, from the real importance.

Oh, so "your" team didn't get into the finals this year? Y'know what? Who gives two warm shits. In the grand scheme of things, it means nothing.

If you think it doesn't, tell me this: what color were the shields of the winning gladiators in 324 A.D.? Or was it 325?

Or was it... oh, who cares?

'Cause everyone remembers that Caesar got assassinated, but no one knows which teams won that year, or which "stars" were the biggest. Hint...

Et tu Brute?

Et tu... all of you.

Fuck the Angels, fuck the World Series, fuck the Superbowl, fuck 'em all... They're all just distractions from the real story, which is the idiot in the White House. Keep your eyes on that prize. His downfall will give this country more brownie points than anything since the Boston Tea Party...

And far more than any stupid baseball game ever will...