Thursday, November 24, 2005

Black Friday... 

Ah yes. Thanksgiving -- the day when the top news story of the day morphs from "Look at all those people trying to get out of town" to "Get ready for all the people at the malls tomorrow." All of this is told in excited tones by the perky "consumer" reporter (whatever the hell that is), interspersed with commercials for all the big sales tomorrow.

In other words, if you go shopping tomorrow, the media and corporations have played you for the mindless fool you are. Think about that as you stand in line for hours in the cold, get into fist-fights with soccer moms over this years' future yard-sale fodder, and then find out the store only had two dozen of whatever big-discount advertised item dragged everyone there in the first place.

See, they don't call it "Black Friday" because it's a dark and terrible experience for shoppers. They call it "Black Friday" because it's the day when retailers start to make a profit on the year. And make it they do, from here until the end of the year, laughing all the way.

But... they do it by exploiting the customers and consumers, by using you to create artificial demand, by playing you against yourselves, all because the media has carefully planted the seed that this year, everyone absolutely must have "X".

Want to change that, and make the retailers cater to you? It's really, really simple. Don't go shopping tomorrow. Or Saturday or Sunday. Wait. We'd start to see results immediately, because Monday's news story would be (in all caps), "RETAIL SALES DOWN!!! WALL STREET WORRIES..."

And, in a panicked response, you'd start seeing bigger sales, bigger cuts and increased stock right through Christmas Eve. Things would turn into a buyers' market as it became every retailer for themself, each trying to figure out what they did wrong, trying to undercut the competition.

And all you have to do is stay home for the next three days. Or, instead of that, do something else. Instead of shopping, take the kids to a museum or a movie. Go to a theme park with the money you would have blown on Friday. If you've got a multi-generational family thing going on, everybody sit around the fire and tell stories. (Believe it or not, parents, little kids do love grandma's stories, and could listen to them for hours. Especially when they're about you as little kids...)

Finally, remind yourself this -- your little crotch-droppings aren't going to die if they don't have the latest X-Box or Electronic Whatnot or other such bullshit. And, anyway, come January, you can probably pick up same for a song as retailers try to dump all the extra inventory -- by which time, whatever it was that was so damn important for Christmas will be yesterday's news, and about as cool as giving them a Pat Boone CD. Er, make that LP.

Take back the season, people. Stay out of the malls this weekend, and see what power you really have.

Well put T. Sadly, the brainwashing is beyond alteration this late in the human game.

I was at Thanksgiving dinner yesterday with my girlfriends family and one of the stories told at the table was about one of their sisters being in a store and some guy, who wanted the last hot selling toy in the store, bit her hand to get it out of her hand, did, then ran away to the cash register. She allowed it. Me? Ok, my one hand is being bit, but whatever was in the other hand would've been dropped and I'da punched that crazy animal like fucker right in the nose.

It's disgusting how people act nowadays over silly shit like this. Completely un-human.

I want to start an alternative day of celebration. Say, January 2nd. This is when I'd like to give gifts to those I want to give gifts to. The purpose of the celebration is the fact that we've managed to live another year. We'll, actually January 1st has been that date for me for a number of years now. The younger members of my family haven't really figured it out yet. They just think their Uncle is always late with the gift. No, I'm right on time.
I'm with you on that one. I kind of find it offensive, as an Atheist, to give presents on the (WRONG) date of Christ's birth, anyway. And New Year's day is as good or better a date. Although, at least until the 18th Century, "New Year" in England was in late March. Which was, ironically, much closer to the date of Jesus's probable birth, given little details in the bible. Other than those shepherds sleeping with their flocks, which they would not have done during a Middle Eastern winter, no way, no how.

Truth to tell, Christmas and Easter should probably be celebrated in the same week. But, thanks to all those crazy Catholics of the early era, we wind up with a pagan holiday, Saturnalia, turned into the consumerist orgy now called Christmas.

Because of that, you ultimately get better deals on January 2nd, anyway. After all the sheeple are done shopping. Although you still have to re-educate all the younglings who are fixated on the fake-magical date of December 25th.

Greatest irony? Whatever fad was the must-have toy of November 25th is the yard sale fodder of January 25th.

And Jesus wept. Or laughed his ass off. Or whatever. Since he never existed in the first place... who cares?

Happy Saturnalia, all. As autumn's light dies in winter's darkness, awaiting the rebirth of light in spring. And that's all that all of this bullshit is... humans trying to make up excuses for the regular changing of the seasons.

Question: Why didn't Christ arist in the southern hemisphere as well? Answer: Because the seasons there are bass-ackwards, and no one wants Christmas in July...
Post a Comment

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?