Spin Dry

Okay, shennaigans. When I was in high school, weekender field trips were nothing but excuses for high schoolers to have sex. I mean, shit, c'mon -- why else would they have us bed down in gymnasiums with no adult supervision during shower time? And, flying spaghetti monster forbid they'd put us up in hotels. Because, even in high school we knew one thing -- hotels = fucking.

So, there's no excuse whatsoever for this. High school students suspended for fucking?

I want to bitch slap ever baby-boomer administrator on the planet. Why the hell do you punish your children for doing exactly what you did in high school, huh? And how come it was totally okay and cute for us slackers to do the same? Oh, that's right. When my generation was in school, you assholes weren't parents quite yet. You only wished you could be. And if you had half the balls you claim to, you'd teach your children about safe sex, and let them loose, and know that little Jenny isn't going to get knocked up, because she took the pill and made Johnny wear a condom and/or only went down on him and/or only let him go down on her...

Face it. Baby boomers are fucking hypocrits. They've totally forgotten what it was like to be a teenager, even as they want to withhold necessary information from their own teens. And so they are shocked -- SHOCKED! -- when their teens act like... well, teens.

High schoolers having sex? Holy shit, stop the planet. This is unprecedented.

NOT.

Truth to tell, it's only been in the last decade that certain asshole parents have decided that people between the age of twelve and twenty have no interest in sex. The same asshole parents who, between the ages of twelve and twenty, probably fucked everything with a hole in it up, down and sideways.

Hey, baby boomers -- fuck you. You've screwed up everything else in the world, stop screwing up your children, m'kay? High schoolers on a field trip? Of course they're going to fuck. Just like you tried to. So, stop the outrage, and give the help. Give 'em condoms, give 'em an education. Admit, for once, that your kids are going to start playing the game as soon as there's grass on the field. Because I can't possibly believe that you're so divorced from your own childhoods that you can't remember one simple thing -- as soon as you figured out how to masturbate, you did. And as soon as you figured out that someone else could do it for you, you asked them. And asked them and asked them and asked them, until someone else put out.

Relax. It's just sex. And, if you're open an honest with your kids, you'll manage to teach them how to do it without getting knocked up or without getting some disease. But, given the state of the world as noted by the article above, you won't.

You'll just try to stuff the same bullshit on your kids that your own parents did, and the lies and repressions will continue.

And those of us in Gen-X who managed to escape your crap will point and hoot and yell, "Bullshit!" And your own kids will be quiet, but continue to fuck like bunnies anyway. And only they and us will be the wiser, while you assholes will be left out of the loop.

Hint: your kids won't trust you until you trust them. And the article above tells me that, oops, you fucking baby boomers don't trust anyone. Idiots...