Spin Dry

So... Palestinians vote, and Hamas wins. And our Administration should be doing backflips and screaming, "See? Democracy works!!!"

Except that... um... oops. And the total hypocrisy of our Government is exposed once again. Democracy works when the puppet regimes BushCo wants get elected. Otherwise... Democracy? We never promised no stinkin' Democracy.

'Cause, y'know, if BushCo weren't full of shit, they would have greeted Hamas as the new and rightfull elected rulers, with open arms. Instead, Condi Rice threatens them obliquely (using the "T" word), and Israel threatens them directly (we'll assassinate their ministers left and right), and, well... I haven't seen such flip-flop hypocrisy on the definition of Democracy since Reagan and the whole Contra/Sandanista conundrum.

As in... "Terrorists are only good if we own them."

Or, in this case, they own us. And I'm still not sure whether the Mossad owns BushCo or vice versa. But... the people of Palestine have spoken. If BushCo really wanted Democracy in the Middle East, they'd cheer and say, "Hoo-hah, we recognize the duly elected government."

But they don't... meaning that all of the rah-rah for Iraqi "democracy" is complete and total bullshit.
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First, the hero list -- the Democratic Senators who voted against ending the filibuster against Samuel Alito:

• Barbara Boxer
• Dianne Feinstein
• Christopher J. Dodd
• Joseph R. Biden, Jr.
• Richard Durbin
• Barack Obama
• Evan Bayh
• Edward M. Kennedy
• John F. Kerry
• Barbara A. Mikulski
• Paul S. Sarbanes
• Carl Levin
• Debbie Stabenow
• Mark Dayton
• Frank R. Lautenberg
• Robert Menendez
• Harry Reid
• Hillary Rodham Clinton
• Charles E. Schumer
• Ron Wyden
• Jack Reed
• James M. Jeffords (Ind.)
• Patrick J. Leahy
• Patty Murray
• Russell D. Feingold

And now, the asshole list -- the Democratic Senators who turned coat and voted to end the filibuster and bring Alito's nomination to a vote:

• Blanche Lincoln
• Mark Pryor
• Ken Salazar
• Joseph Lieberman
• Thomas Carper
• Bill Nelson
• Daniel K. Akaka
• Daniel Inouye
• Tom Harkin
• Mary Landrieu
• Max Baucus
• Kent Conrad
• Byron Dorgan
• Benjamin Nelson
• Jeff Bingaman
• Tim Johnson
• Maria Cantwell
• Herb Kohl
• Robert Byrd
• John D Rockefeller IV

(Both lists are in State, not alphabetical, order.)

In case you're keeping score, these are the states with completely non-asshole Senators: California, Illinois, Massachusetts, Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, New York, and Vermont. Fifty-fifty states are Connecticut, Delaware, Indiana, Minnesota, Nevada, Oregon, Rhode Island, Washington, and Wisconsin. Totally asshole-run states are Arkansas, Hawaii, North Dakota, West Virginia. (I'm sure there's a higher number of T A-R states, but I'm not counting Republicans in this instance, because they were expected to vote this way.)

If you're a Democrat and one of the assholes on the above list is your Senator, it's up to you to light a big fire under their ass right now. Call their office. Tell them what a bonehead, kiss-ass, spineless, dipshit move you think they made in voting as they did. Remind them what their own party wants, and how they've failed it. Tell them not to follow the example of Joe "I'm Really a Republican" Lieberman -- who should be forced by Federal Law and party pressure to change his affiliation before he can ever run for office again. He's the kind of guy for whom the phrase "Quisling" was invented.

And then -- start urging your state party to look for alternatives next time that Senator is up for re-election. Let's replace these faux Democrats with the real thing; with actual legislators and party faithful who won't roll over and lick their genitals every time BushCo says they have to.

Again, the Senators who don't deserve to keep their jobs anymore: Blanche Lincoln, Mark Pryor, Ken Salazar, Joseph Lieberman, Thomas Carper, Bill Nelson, Daniel K. Akaka, Daniel Inouye, Tom Harkin, Mary Landrieu, Max Baucus, Kent Conrad, Byron Dorgan, Benjamin Nelson, Jeff Bingaman, Tim Johnson, Maria Cantwell, Herb Kohl, Robert Byrd, John D Rockefeller IV.

Don't let the Constitution hit you in the ass on the way out, but be sure and wave hello to your replacement, a real Democrat, with real cojones.

Assholes.
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Someone explain to me why some Joe Schmoe can make a joke in a bar that warrants an investigation and a visit by the Secret Service, while someone else can do this and get away with it:

We need somebody to put rat poisoning in Justice Stevens' creme brulee...

Hm. Sounds like a threat to me -- subborning someone to assassinate a Federal official.

Oh, that's right -- the person who said this, in public, was Ann Coulter, so the media gives her a mysterious pass. Oh, ha ha, look at how wacky and outrageous she is...

What do you suppose the reaction would be if Al Franken said someone should put Drano in John Roberts's cornflakes?

Ann Coulter should be investigated same as anyone who makes public threats against any elected official. I'm sorry, but her tag on the comment, "That's just a joke, for you in the media", doesn't wash with me. That's a phrase that doesn't cancel out the comment. What if she'd said, "Hitler was right, gassing the Jews. Ha ha, just kidding", or "Too bad the terrorists didn't also hit the New York Times building on 9/11. Ha ha..." Oh, wait. She did say that, and didn't call it a joke.

Although, she must have been kidding later on, as the linked article reports: "She drew more boos when she said the crack cocaine problem 'has pretty much gone away.'"

Judging from Coulter's comments, not only has the crack cocaine problem not gone away, she must be one of its biggest users. Because the only way to explain her making such death threats in public is that the woman is on crack.

So, my question to the Secret Service: here we have a woman publicly calling for the assassination of a sitting Supreme Court Justice. What are you going to do about it? At the very least, I think she needs a little visit at a very inconvenient and highly embarrassing time, and then three or four hours of intense questioning, coupled with a background check and a stern warning.

That, and a little Abu Ghraib treatment with some peanut butter, trained attack dogs and a short length of rubber hose.

Ha ha. Just kidding...

Not.
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Because, of course, I'm sure that they'll start pulling the "Clinton did it" excuse out of their butts at any moment...

Eschaton has been covering this for a couple of days now. Short version: Katie Couric makes blatantly false statement that Abramhoff donated to Democrats as well as Republicans. Howard Dean corrects her; it was the indian tribes that Abramhof ripped off who had donated to Democrats. Couric then counters with the lame excuse that, since the tribes had some connection to Abramhoff, saying that the convicted felon lobbyist donated to the Democrats was "technically correct."

Oh, bullshit. That's like claiming that, after the husband of a rape victim gives money to NOW, that the rapist really made the donation. It's only "technically correct" in the sense that the husband might not have made the donation had his wife not been the victim of a twisted man.

So... who's parsing words now? Remember when the Republicans made a big deal over Clinton and the "depends on what the meaning of 'is' is" thing? Time for the Democrats to throw it right back at Couric, and Matt Lauer and all the rightwing mouthpices of the so-called Liberal Media.

After all, John Kerry won in 2000. In every possible way, that is "technically correct."

Katie, on the other hand, is technically and factually full of crap. Let's not let her get away with this blatant lying this time, m'kay?
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News Item #1:

SAN FRANCISCO - It’s been nearly 17 years since the Exxon Valdez spilled 11 million gallons of crude oil along the Alaska coast in one of the country’s worst environmental disasters, and a jury’s $5 billion judgment against the company is still tied up in the courts.

Exxon Mobil Corp.’s appeal of that punishment was scheduled to be heard for the third time Friday afternoon in a federal appeals court in San Francisco.

News Item #2:

Exxon Mobil Corp.'s earnings probably rose for the seventh straight quarter because of soaring energy prices, capping Chairman Lee Raymond's career with the most profitable year for any company in U.S. history.

The world's largest publicly traded oil company is expected to report Jan. 30 that fourth-quarter earnings per share increased 11 percent to $1.44, the average estimate from 20 analysts surveyed by Thomson Financial. That would bring net income for all of 2005 to more than $34 billion, topping the U.S. record of $26.3 billion set by MediaOne Group Inc. in 1998.

News analysis: Fuck Exxon. They say they're willing to pay no more than $25 million in punitive damages. I say the courts should wring that $34 billion out of them and give it to the people in Alaska, who are still dealing with Exxon's gunk up there. Oh. Didn't I mention that part? Nearly seventeen years after Exxon Valdez ran aground:

In the region itself, pockets of relatively fresh Exxon Valdez oil remain on shorelines as distant as Katmai National Park, about 300 miles from the site where the supertanker disgorged 11 million gallons of crude oil, according to government scientists who presented their studies at a conference this week in Anchorage.

“This stuff isn’t changing at all. It’s just the same kind of goo that got deposited there in 1989,” said Jeff Short, a National Oceanic and Atmospheric researcher.

Yeah. Must be nice to cause an ecological disaster, not clean it up, then bitch and whine to the courts that a wrist slap is too painful.

Like I said, fuck Exxon. Company should have been put out of business back in 1989.
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Washington state today voted to ban religious freedom and the right to worship. Oops. Sorry. Actually, they voted to ban discrimination based on sexual orientation.

The (Washington State) Senate today voted 25-23 to approve a gay rights bill and ended the debate over legislation that emerged in Washington the same year singer Anita Bryant began her "Save Our Children" crusade against such protections.

The House quickly concurred by a 61-37 vote, and Gov. Chris Gregoire said she planned to sign the bill into law Tuesday.

This is a great day for Washington and, in fact, the bill passed because a Republican Senator pulled his head out of his ass changed his mind, and voted for the legislation. Sen. Bill Finkbeiner, R-Kirkland, said "People don't choose this. We don't choose who we love, the heart chooses who we love... I don't believe that it is right... to say that it's acceptable to discriminate against people because of that, because of who their heart chooses to love. I can not (sic) stand with that argument."

If only the rest of his Republican brethren and cistern realized that this is what the issue is. There's no difference between gay rights legislation now and civil rights legislation in the 60s. The idea is to end discrimination against people for what they were born with -- gender, race, sexual orientation. That's all that this law is about. (Imagine the outcry if, say, an apartment owner refused to rent to a tenant who was born blind.)

This is what conservatives don't get -- or perhaps, because of internalized homophobia, pretend not to get. And so we get lame, stupid arguments from the crowd that voted against the bill. See if you can wrap your brain around the tortured logic from Sen. Dan Swecker, R-Rochester.

"(D)iscrimination against anyone (is) unacceptable, and it's is wrong... Unfortunately the bill before us today is not the magic tool that will end discrimination in our state... In reality it takes us in the opposite direction... The bill would trample religious freedom for those who believe homosexuality is wrong... (emphasis added)

Sticking his foot further down his throat, he added, "The passage of this legislation puts us on a slippery slope towards gay marriage... The two are linked...are any of us naive enough to think the court won't take notice?"

So... discrimination is always wrong, unless I'm prejudiced against a certain group of people, that what you're saying, Danny?

Re-read that bit in italics. We can't give rights to a particular class because people who hold a certain opinion don't like it. Let's go back in time forty years and rephrase Swecker a little bit. "The bill would trample religious freedom for those who believe colored people are animals." If that statement seems hyperbolic, I can point you to at least two American religions that do believe white people are superior, and everyone else is inferior, 'cause god said so.

How, exactly does this bill directly discriminate against bigots who blame their religion? Hm. I'm not sure. It only prohibits discrimination in housing, lending and employment. So, if you've got a church and you don't allow homosexuals to join, you're not breaking the law. And, given the separation of church and state, if you're renting, loaning or hiring, those practices within the public sphere shouldn't be impacted by your religion. For two of them -- renting and hiring -- there are obvious ways around the law. Want to avoid renting to gays or lesbians without discriminating against them? Then stick the notice up on your church bulletin board, only consider your fellow parishoners. As for lending -- if you're a banker and try to drag religion into things ("I'm sorry, Mr. Greenblatt, we don't lend money to Jews"), you'll run afoul of more than just Washington state law.

As for this law leading to gay marriage -- we can only hope so. Some day (if not deep down already) the vast majority of Americans will realize that it really doesn't affect them one way or another who's allowed to marry whom. And if the average American really thought that marriage was some great sacred institution, our divorce rate wouldn't be on the north side of fifty percent.

But maybe it is time to start discriminating against religion -- at least fundamentally insane religions. Or insanely fundamentalist. They've certainly earned the right to be ignored and ridiculed. And we really need to bitchslap legislators who base their lawmaking on fairytales instead of, um, y'know -- the law. To wit, this comment from Sen. Bob Oke, R-Port Orchard -- whose daughter happens to be, um, you know... a lesbian. "I believe homosexuality is morally wrong," Oke said. "The Bible is very clear on this."

Might want to reread your bible, buddy boy. First, it's actually a muddle on homosexuality. Second, if you accept the Jesus thing, you gotta throw out the Old Testament laws, 'cause Jesus said so. Third, if you don't... well, remember this brilliant scene from The West Wing

BARTLET: Chapter and verse. I wanted to ask you a couple of questions while I had you here. I wanted to sell my youngest daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. She’s a Georgetown Sophomore, speaks fluent Italian, always cleared the table when it was her turn. What would a good price for her be...? While thinking about that, can I ask another? My chief of staff, Leo McGary, insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly says he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself? Or is it okay to call the police? Here’s one that’s really important, because we’ve got a lot of sports fans in this town. Touching the skin of a dead pig makes one unclean. Leviticus 11:7. If they promise to wear gloves, can the Washington Redskins still play football? Can Notre Dame? Can West Point? Does the whole town really have to be together to stone my brother John for planting different crops side by side? Can I burn my mother in a small family gathering for wearing garments made from two different threads? Think about those questions, would you?

Think about those questions and ask yourself this. Americans both left and right were united around the idea that the Taliban in Afghanistan had to go.

When will we come to our senses and do the same with the American Taliban?
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As Senator John Kerry expresses his desire for a filibuster to block Samuel Alito's nomination to the Supreme Court, Republicans are hmphing and fumfering about the "Nuclear Option." As pointed out by Atrios over at Eschaton, what this really is, by any other name, is cheating.

Let's put it in poker terms. You're holding three of a kind and two indifferent cards. You bet the pot up and up and up and it finally comes call time. Your opponent has a full house -- which, in the agreed-upon rules of poker, beats three of a kind.

Republican logic at this point is to declare, "No, I change the rules unilaterally. Three of a kind beats a full house."

Yep. Cheating. I hope to hell that Kerry and the other Democratic Senators do their damn job and filibuster Alito into political oblivion.

"Judge Alito's confirmation would be an ideological coup on the Supreme Court," Kerry said in a written statement.

"We can't afford to see the court's swing vote, Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, replaced with a far-right ideologue like Samuel Alito."

As simple a statement of fact as you'll read all week...
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It's time for the Democrats to redeem a word that Republicans started misusing the second King W was sworn in on January 20, 2001. That word is "Partisan".

par·ti·san (pärt-zn) n.

1. A fervent, sometimes militant supporter or proponent of a party, cause, faction, person, or idea.
2. A member of an organized body of fighters who attack or harass an enemy, especially within occupied territory; a guerrilla.

adj.

1. Of, relating to, or characteristic of a partisan or partisans.
2. Devoted to or biased in support of a party, group, or cause: partisan politics.

Short version: "partisan" means "supporting your side." That's also known as loyalty. I bring this up because of this current poll question at CNN
Now, we know what the word "politics" really means in this context -- partisan politics. And I'd have no trouble answering "politics" to the question (I didn't, just to be ornery) if the Republicans hadn't hijacked the meaning of the word. But somehow, magically, after January 20, 2001, "partisan politics" suddenly became a dirty thing -- when Democrats engaged therein. Kind of ironic, isn't it? Considering that everything the Republicans did during the Clinton Administration was based entirely and only in partisan politics.

But, again, it's the typical behavior of the right -- It's okay if we do it, but don't you dare try to, or we'll point fingers and whine and complain how mean and unfair you are.

So that... when Alito is asked honest questions during a hearing, his wife cries and the Wingnuts bitch about the questions. The same Wingnuts didn't have that problem when Clinton was being grilled about his penis. And remember this: the Alito hearing wasn't aired in its entireity on television. The "Mrs. Alito cried" business was released to (or picked up on) by the media. And gosh, funny how her reactions drowned out coverage of, gosh, I dunno... the actual questions and answers. I don't seem to remember the Clinton testimony being eclipsed by the "Hilary Reacts" footage.

Anyway... I think we need to start re-pitching this debate with the Dark Side Republicans. When they point fingers and claim, "You're just being partisan", point back and answer, "Hell yeah. Because I believe in fighting for my party." Refuse to play along with the "it's wrong" game. At the same time, remind them constantly of their partisan games under Clinton.

"Partisan" is only a dirty word if we let them make it one. But playing partisan is the only way we can stomp them back down and beat them at their own game.

La lucha continue...
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If you don't know who the man in the photo above is, you should. His name was Fayard Nicholas. He was one half of the Nicholas brothers, arguably the most amazing dancers of the 20th Century. He died yesterday, age 91.

I was lucky enough to know Fayard. He was a regular attendee at a theatre company with which I'm involved. He never missed one of our shows or special events, despite his age, and was always gracious, fun, funny and just had such an incredible life-force around him. It was obvious why he lived so long. Because he wanted to; because he enjoyed life. Although he was in his late 80s and early 90s while I knew him, he never seemed old. In fact, I don't think he was even sick until the stroke late last year, which eventually led to his death.

If you want to be amazed by something in a film that wasn't done with special effects, check out the 1943 film Stormy Weather. The Nicholas brothers perform an acrobatic dance number up and down orchestra risers, and then keep topping themselves with every move as they approach the finale.

That's sort of how Fayard lived his life. Things just kept getting better toward the finale. I was privileged and honored to know him, and I'm going to miss seeing his smiling face and feeling his pure love for the world around the theatre.

I salute you, friend. You were unique.
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Along with the news media, who just don't get what the hell is going on in the Alito hearings, and so reduce it to sound bites about whining wives and apologizing assholes. Let me put it to you this way -- if Mrs. Alito is reduced to tears when someone asks her husband whether he's a racist, then perhaps she should just dump the bastard and go into another line of work. Or, better yet, keep herself far away from confirmation hearings. Which makes me think, "Hm. How much of a set-up was this?" "Honey, do me a favor -- cry if they get rough, okay?"

Memo to the Repugs: No matter how hard it got for President Clinton, we never saw Hilary crying. Meaning that -- she's much more qualified for office than Mrs. Alito will ever be. And, remember -- the false accusations slung against Clinton by the Repugnicrats were far, far worse than the mere questions that Joseph Alito has faced. Oh, poor baby. Someone maybe wondered whether your husband didn't like black people? Suck it the fuck up, you sorry-ass whiner. If you love the man, you know the truth -- and the truth shouldn't be able to make you cry, even if it's voiced by Ted Kennedy, a man who has done more to justify his family's legacy in the last forty years than anyone else -- and so has been most villified by the frat-boys of the far right.

And, anyway, for anyone who's paying attention to these hearings, one thing is obvious: Joseph Alito is a lying sack of shit, who's playing a tap-dance to the Republican tune in order to appear non-partisan enough to be confirmed. And, if the Democrats do their job properly, this man will no more be a Supreme Court justice than will either of my dogs. The difference being, though, that my dogs can't lie.

And... the news media has totally fallen down on the job on this one. What's important this week? Oooh... dead coal miners and Angelina is preggers. Y'know what? I don't give a fuck about either of those stories. My grandfather was a coal miner. He died because of his occupation, lungs choked with anthracite dust -- and his death never made the news. A bunch of coal miners lost their canary and died in a shaft? So fucking what? Tell us about the soldiers in Iraq who die every day -- or has that been prohibited by the Administraion? And as for Brad and Angelina -- leave them alone, and stop pretending their relationship is important. It isn't. They're just two beautiful people who are fucking. What drops out of her womb is about one ten-thousandth as important as the real news you should be spending your time on.

What's important is this: the Democrats on the Judiciary Committee are doing their job, and questioning a questionable nominee. Quit it with the "crying wife" and "indignant senator" sound bites, and follow the real story. How do Alito's answer conflict with his previous opinions and statements? How badly is the man lying for the sake of a position? How un-partisan is it to ask those questions? What does the man think of the Constitution, the Separation of Powers, Affirmative Action? How has the man lied to his inquisitors in order to gain an appointment for life?

Oooh... look. Missing white woman! Dead coal miners! Celebrity babies!!!

Memo to the news media: you ceased being the news or the media long ago. Want to redeem yourselves? Then report the real story in Washington right now -- which is: lying sack of shit continues to lie in order to gain lifetime tenure. Stop pretending the Alito hearings only matter when his wife is crying. Wrong. They matter when Alito's lips are moving -- meaning, Alito is lying. I won't quote the old joke here.

But -- do your damn jobs. Five seconds of research would put the lie to every sentence coming out of that man's mouth as he's being grilled. And that is what our news media is supposed to be doing.

Unless, of course, you think that eleven dead coal miners or Bradgelina is more important than the fate of this country for the next thirty years. It isn't, you idiots. And, here's a hint -- next time Mrs. Alito cries, accord it all the importance to national discourse that it deserves -- which is none.

Again, if Mrs. Alito can't take it, she can just suck my cock, or go away. Oh no. They were mean to your husband? Suck it up, bitch. And ask yourself, WWHD?

What would Hilary do?

A lot more than you, apparently...

BTW, the above post may be illegal per the vague law recently passed by Congress. I welcome Mrs. Alito to sue me. See you in court, with the ACLU behind me. Sucker...
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First resolution: fuck celebrities. Nothing they do is important. Who cares who's screwing whom, who dropped whom, who had a bad day with the popparazi... whatever. Resolutuion for 2006: celebrties are not people. They do not deserve our attention. Ignore the pan et circences stories the press tries to drop on us. Stop feeding them, and they'll stop feeding on us.

Second resolution: Blow jobs in Washington mean nothing. Law breaking means everything. Check your history books, read about Nixon and his downfall, and ask yourselves whether the current asshats in power were better or worse. Read that history without your eyes crossed, and you'll conclude one thing: 2006 will be 1974 all over again -- except that the criminal in chief just might be tried for his crimes, without being given the escapes that Nixon had -- time and death. Want to make sure it happens? Vote Democrat this year. Local, State, National, whatever. Give the power to the other party, then enjoy W and company twisting in the wind.

Third resolution: Fuck the record labels. Especially when they pull crap like they tried with Sony's alleged DMCA scheme; like they have on the latest Coldplay album. If a record company tries to screw with what you can do with music you've paid (way too much) for, return the disc (after you've copied it) and tell them to shove it. If your record store tries to tell you you can only return the disc because of manufacturing flaws, grab the pencil-neck beind the counter by their collar and tell them this: rules that weren't explained on the outside of the packaging but were only revealed as an insert are a manufacturing flaw, and, anyway, if the RIAA's anti-piracy software is so good, then you weren't able to make a copy of their crap anyway, so take the disc back, or I'll shove it up your ass.

Fourth resolution: buy porn. Why? Because our government, via the attorney general, seems to think that it's a bigger danger to this country than terrorists. Get that. Consenting adults, fucking on video, are more dangerous than those alleged al Quaeda cells, wherever they are. Uh huh. And my grandmother was a big danger to New York because she canned her own vegetables...

Get real, fucktards. And don't act like the same villains (fundie Muslims) that you claim to fight. Porn is of no harm to anyone, given V-Chips and MPAA ratings and everything else. Any parent who claims they couldn't protect their kids from porn is just a negligent asshole. A soccer mom in a big-ass SUV who will bitch to high heaven about high gas prices, but take no responsibility for the world otherwise...

Fifth resolution: read the entire Constitution, so that you know when and why W is lying every time he opens his filthy mouth.

Sixth resolution: take responsibility for your own life and, if you've bred, for the life of your kids. Stop blaming the childless for your failings. Stop inflicting your rugrats on us. I swear, next time I hear a screaming baby in an R-Rated film, I'm going to march up the aisle and bitch-slap the parents into next Wednesday. And if your cell-phone rings during any film, don't be surprised if it winds up shoved up your ass.

Seventh resolution: PAY ATTENTION. Get a grip on what's happening around you. Hint: if you're in line at a store of any kind, HANG UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE. Hell, if you're in a store, shoving your cart around, HANG UP YOUR FUCKING PHONE. 'Cause, know what? If you're yapping away and blocking the aisle, I'm going to ram my cart right up your fat, soccer mom ass, and not apologize. And don't give me that dirty look. You were the one on the phone, paying no attention. Upset that I poked you with my cart? Good. You deserved it. And moreso when you can't hang up long enough to deal with the clerk at the checkstand. I swear -- next time I'm behind some brainless bitch on the phone in the checkout, I'm going to snatch that thing out of her hand, throw it as far as I can, then look her in the eye and say, "Don't be a cunt, okay?"

Not that I'm being sexist. If it's a guy, I'll tell him not to be an asshole... or a prick. Except that, it never is.

Jeebus. Really... find me a woman who can shop without shoving a phone in her ear, and I'll find you...

Uh... let me get back to you on that...
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