Saturday, March 04, 2006

Everything I Need to Know About Politcs, I Learned from My Dogs 

I have two dogs, and watching them has been a great lesson in politics. To protect their identities, I'll give them fake names here -- Rex and Ralph. Rex is the equivalent of 43 in Dog Years; Ralph is about 22. And, while I treat Rex as the boss in every possible way, he acts like a total Democrat -- meaning that, he shares everything, isn't possessive, and lets Ralph be in charge, well, just because. Which is kind of odd, since Rex is much bigger than Ralph, and could take his head off in a second if he wanted.

And... Rex knows "the rules" and obeys them, while Ralph has no concept. Rex is most interested in making me happy. Ralph is only concerned with figuring out what he can eat, whether it's "approved" food or not. And, funny thing is, no matter how many times I spank Ralph for being bad, he doesn't learn; whereas Rex needs nothing more than a tone of voice and a look to be chastised. Hell, Rex even acts like a whipped puppy when Ralph is the one getting in trouble.

And this sort of demonstrates the problem we have with politics in America. The Republicans are the ones who should be constantly whipped in public, but the Democrats are the ones who react to the whipping. And the Republicans never learn, while the Democrats act like they're the bad ones, and cringe and whimper in the corner.

And that's just a load of horseshit. When will the Democrats figure out that the majority of Americans aren't spanking them? When will they figure out that this Administration has made the phrase "lame duck" a permanent fixture of the party?

When, oh when, will the Democrats take what should be theirs, and stop acting like pussywhipped whelps?

I have two dogs, Rex and Ralph. One of them cheats whenever possible. The other obeys the rules. I love the rule-follower more than anything, and tolerate the rule-breaker in hopes that I'll teach him otherwise. And I wait for the day that they both figure out which is whom.

Just like I wait -- fruitlessly -- for the day that the Democrats figure out that they could be, should be, will be, the ones in charge -- if only they grow the balls to take power. The balls to vote against things like the Patriot Act. The balls to be like Russ Feingold.

Because, honestly, no one but him deserves to wear the label of "Democrat" anymore. The rest of them -- useless asshats. And I'm talking to you, Hillary, John, Barack, Ted, Diane and Barbara. Obviously, you don't understand the meaning of being spanked. And spanked you will be.

Feingold '08. Feingold/Kucinich. That is the only ticket the Democrats should run, the only ticket that can win. Or, rather, deserves to win.

One with brains and balls. The other with unique ideas. If we can't elect a third party candidate, at least we can elect the only Democrats who have ideals. And, as of now, those two guys are the only ones I can think of who aren't total sell-outs.

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