Thursday, March 09, 2006

Shooting Themselves in the Ass? 

You know, the more I think about an impending Supreme Court challenge to South Dakota's no abortion law, the more I think that Conservatives are actually going to suffer a phyrric victory on the issue. Assuming that Bushie Boy's hand-picked incompetents on the court were put there for two reasons -- a) ban abortion, b) don't Impeach me -- then the legal precedent that may be set when the case comes to trial might be one that Conservatives neither want nor expect.

It works like this. SD's anti-abortion law goes to the SCOTUS. Thanks to Roberts and Alito, the decision comes down that states, not the federal government, have the right to regulate such things. Consequence? Raving red states ban abortion; residents thereof go to the nearest blue state to abort. (Q.V. the current situation involving Ireland and England. Abortion is illegal in Ireland. Knocked-up Irish girls go to England to get aborted. Net result -- stimulated English economy at Ireland's expense.)

And... with states being given the power to decide what happens to wombs, there will be no argument against something like gay marriage. To not be totally hypocritical asshats, the SCOTUS would then have to say, "Well, okay -- if Massachusetts or California want to legalize gay marriage (or medical marijuna or euthanasia or whatever), then they can."

The best part being this: if the SCOTUS sets a precedent in the SDak abortion law, cases won't even have to go that far. All it'll take is a good attorney in a Federal Court to cite the decision, making one of the circuit court judges say, "You know what? You're right. The SCOTUS declared this kind of thing a state's right, so you win."

And that is how the wingnut faction of the Conservative wing of the Republican Party is setting themselves up to shoot themselves in the ass. Sure, they might win by weakening Roe v. Wade -- but they have no idea what world of hurt they're in for when all the Blue states take advantage of the opinion for which Bush and the FundieNazis are creaming in their pants.

If the SCOTUS eventually judges this law the way BushCo wants/packs them to, then the end result is this: States' Rights trump all when it comes to social issues. In the very long run, this could be a good thing -- because the blue states are going to loosen up on the social issues while the red states don't, and the eventual population swap is going to cut the red state support off at the knees.

In a very good and real way, the WingNuts are beginning the process of marginalizing themselves, and they don't even realize it. In focusing on one issue -- "we control your cunts" -- they're losing sight of the greater battle. They may win some fetuses, but they're going to lose the war.

BTW, if I were writing abortion law, it'd be this... and remember, I'm a man, so I'll never get to enjoy the... um... thrill of childbirth (aka -- passing a bowling ball out your urethra). Anyway, the law is this: "By virtue of the unavoidable fact that women alone can give birth, laws regarding abortion, reproductive rights and child support can only be decided by women. Such issues in state houses or ballots can only be voted on by people with uteruses. A husband may bar his wife from having an abortion on one condition: while his wife is in labor, and for that entire time, the husband must agree to be fisted by a linebacker from his state's football team. Whoever gives up and screams for anesthesia first wins. If said childbirth results in the wife's death, then the husband will take as many fists up the ass as it takes to kill him.

And... on the day that a man becomes pregnant, then a man can say something about abortion law. Until then -- keep your damn paws off those vulvas, you filthy apes.

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