Spin Dry

UPDATE: As of April 21st, 2006, Senator McCain still has not responded to my application for those $50 lettuce picking jobs. They must have gotten an overwhelming response

(Kudos to TotalFarker my_word_is_poontang for the joke in the headline)

John McCain continues to implode. First his bizarre blow-up in a Jon Stewart interview, now this rather bizarre offer:

One audience member obliged with a pointed question on his immigration plan.

McCain responded by saying immigrants were taking jobs nobody else wanted. He offered anybody in the crowd $50 an hour to pick lettuce in Arizona.

Shouts of protest rose from the crowd, with some accepting McCain's job offer.

"I'll take it!" one man shouted.

McCain insisted none of them would do such menial labor for a complete season. "You can't do it, my friends."

Some in the crowd said they didn't appreciate McCain questioning their work ethic.

"I was impressed with his comedy routine and ability to tap dance without music. But I was impressed with nothing else about him," said John Wasniewski of Milwaukee.

Anyway, I couldn't help but respond to Senator McCain's generous offer, so I sent him the following:

Dear Senator McCain:

I understand from comments you made recently that you are offering positions in Arizona picking lettuce, for $50 an hour, and am writing to inquire as to whether any of those positions are still available.

I am a citizen of the United States, born and raised here, so I have all the necessary documentation for employment. I would also be willing to temporarily relocate to Arizona for the season.

Thank you for offering this program to American citizens. I had begun to think that the Republican Party had no interest in helping the middle class. Clearly, you've found a forward-thinking way to both help American citizens earn a living wage and give a disincentive to illegal aliens to come here and take these jobs.

Sincerely...

Feel free to cut 'n paste if you're so inclined; contact him at his official website. I'll report any reponse from his office here.