Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Good Riddance, You Son of a Bitch... 

They say, "Don't speak ill of the dead", but the only nice thing I can think to say about Jerry Falwell right now is -- "Hooray. That motherfucker is dead." He was a sanctimonious, bigoted, hateful, money-grubbing, hypocritical, opportunistic scumbag who made Jesus spin in his grave on a daily basis. If Falwell's ideas about the universe are correct, then right about now, Satan is no doubt munching on him, head-first, while demons prod his fat white ass with red-hot pitchforks. But, more likely, Falwell knows by now that, well -- oops. His ideas were wrong and wrong-headed, and whether he's suffering in the afterlife or -- far more likely -- just rotting in the ground, his side is not going to browbeat this country into a fascist dictatorship of crazed fundamentalist loonies. That is probably the greatest irony about the entire religious right movement -- what they revile in other countries, they demand in the United States. They couldn't be happier if America were turned into Iran, as long as it were a Christian nation.

Which it's not, by the way, no matter how hard Rev. Jackass and his ilk try to pretend otherwise. And that's the best reason I can give for real conservatives everywhere to despise and revile his lukewarm corpse. Falwell and his Moral Majority (which is neither) kidnapped the Republican party from real conservatives, and put it in the hands of the current crop of lunatics, starting with Ronald Reagan. True conservatives believed in smaller government in all ways -- not just lower taxes and less bureaucracy, but less intrusion into everyone's private lives. The neocons kept the lower taxes part (all the more for you to tithe to them), but then ballooned the bureaucracy and decided that it's government's job to play nanny to us all, to intrude on every private act that some twat with a divinity degree thinks is evil. They launched the culture wars, which are an artificial division. Without them, the only real disagreement between Republicans and Democrats is what to put in the budget.

Fortunately, Falwell has been in the background for a long time -- but did not go there before he could do his damage. Very fortunately, he's finally in the ground. Though it won't happen, he should be buried without fanfare, stuck in an unmarked grave, and then quickly forgotten forever.

Although if I ever do pass by that grave, sure to be marked ostentatiously and at great expense, I'll be sure to take a nice piss on it.

You're finally dead, you fat fuck. And not a moment too soon.

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