Monday, September 01, 2008

Tar Babies 

First, I think that Senator Obama has played the Sarah Palin scandal exactly right -- to strongly declare that family is off-limits, and he isn't going to go there. And that's probably a little self-preservation on his part. If he made any indication of jumping into the "Who is Trig's momma?" fray, he knows that his wife and daughters would be under the microscope tomorrow.

But -- that doesn't stop the rest of us from playing the game. Now, normally, I'd fall into the category of "The family is not the candidate." However, because l'Affaire Trig touches on so many of the issues that Sarah Palin apparently has strong opinions on, the matter threatens to bust out hypocrisy and lying left and right. Remember -- lying, that thing that the Republicans found so odious when Bill Clinton was president? When they were not conveniently ignoring the many lies of the Bush, Jr. Administration.

There's a real simple solution to this, of course. Get testimony from the Obstetrician who delivered trig. "Yes, I pulled that baby out of Governor Palin's vagina." Get the medical records. End of story.

That hasn't happened and, unfortunately, there are too many holes in the story. For starters, Governor Palin didn't announce she was pregnant until month seven, and she wasn't showing at all. Do a Google Image Search for "seven months pregnant" like I did. You'll find that even the most athletic of mothers had a very visible baby bump this far along.

Second -- You know you're going to have a Downs Syndrome Baby. Your water breaks in Texas... Do you a) Go to the nearest hospital? or b) Fly to Seattle, then to Anchorage -- each of which has fine hospitals in which to give birth -- but then proceed overland to your home town, and then to the local clinic.

Third -- a possible mitigating factor is that Downs Syndrome is more common in babies born to mothers in their 40s -- but it's also common in teen mothers during their first pregnancy.

Fourth -- Bristol Palin was out of school for five months because of mono. In the 50s, being out with "mono" was usually always girl code for "knocked up."

Fifth -- the announcement that Bristol is pregnant today is almost astounding in its timing. She ain't going to give birth before the election, and she isn't going to show. Short of medical proof that she is with child, I'd call this claim bullshit.

Sixth -- if Bristol is knocked up, Sarah is a lousy mother, who can't even get her own daughter to adhere to the abstinence plan. She's an even worse mother if Trig is Palin's child, and a complete hypocrite any way you slice it.

Seventh -- the McCain campaign, despite claiming fore-knowledge, totally whiffed it on this one. McCain focused on the trivial -- she's a chick -- and seemed to ignore every other detail. Is this really the man we want in the White House? Or the woman we want one stroke away from the White House?

Eighth -- Sarah Palin does not practice what she preaches. Why did she protect her daughter, if Trig is the grandkid, or support her daughter know, if she is indeed knocked up, when every thing she stands for is against premarital sex or birth control?

Ninth -- when Joe Biden was nominated, there was no dirt anyone could fling on him. Sarah Palin inspired a shitstorm within minutes of being announced. Babygate is far from the only scandal to explode into daylight instantly. But, for having been ripped off from an episode of "Desperate Housewives", it is particularly pathetic.

As is this desperate attempt by the Old Man to add youth and a vagina to his ticket, in hopes of luring Hillary voters. Sorry, Senator McSame -- a Hillary voter supporting you because of Palin would be like a chicken voting for Colonel Sanders.

Where have I heard that before?

If you want the next four years to bring us World War III, then by all means vote Republican. Otherwise, vote for your country. Vote for the future. Vote Obama-Biden.

In November, there is no other sane choice.

Oh -- regarding the title? It's a reference to southern Black folklore of the 19th Century. The Tar Baby was a method by which Bro' Rabbit snared Bro' Fox. Bro' Rabbit convinced Bro' Fox that the baby sitting down the way was him. Bro' Fox attacked, but since the baby was made of tar, the harder Bro' Fox punched, the more stuck he became to it. Setting aside the modern symbolism of FOX, the metaphor is clear. The harder that the RNC, McCain and Palin try to punch away the babies, the more they will stick. The more excuses they spin to try to explain it all the way, the more questions they will raise. And, as when Bro' Rabbit told Bro' Fox not to throw him into the briar patch, because he feared that place the most, the Republicans are going to do exactly what the Democrats need -- they will keep tossing out more and more spin, keeping the issue alive while we do nothing, and Bro' Rabbit will be tossed into the briar patch -- a place with which he is vary familiar and can just happily hop away, unaffected, while Bro' Fox tries to peel off the tar, fuming at the brambles he cannot jump into without feeling great pain.

Yeah. Sometimes, folklore is very informative of reality.

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