Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bye-Bye, Asshole 

Apparently, W gave some farewell speech today which included the phrase "There can be little doubt about the results..."

Well, I can agree on that one. You shat on the country and the Constitution and left things totally fucked up. Four and a half more days is too long for you to remain in office. Please exit Washington DC, and don't let the doorknob hit you in the ass. Fuck on off back to Texas, and never darken our door again.

And, if there is any justice in the world, you, Limp Dick Cheney and everyone who ever served in your Administration will be brought to trial for war crimes, found guilty, and follow in Saddam's footsteps.

Your farewell speech should have been an apology. The only good thing you did was to make Nixon and Reagan look positively Presidential in retrospect. Hell, for that matter, you made Hitler and Stalin look like nice guys.

No mean feat, that. Now fuck off and go away. Our long national nightmare is almost over, but your reputation as a useless waste of flesh -- and quite likely the adoption of your name as a verb meaning "utter failure" -- will affect our culture for the next five hundred years.

W -- you're a dick. A failure. The worst thing to happen to the world since the Black Plague. You will not be missed, and you cannot justify what you did. You nearly wrecked America single-handedly. Your only legacy will be this: You screwed the pooch so badly that you gave us a President who will one day be as revered as JFK, FDR, Lincoln and Washington combined just for showing up for the job.

Hey -- when Laura divorces your ass in six months, do us a favor. Keep the drinking in private. We'd rather not be reminded of your failure when you show up shit-ass drunk in a mall in Dallas, challenging some lawyer to a fist fight. Ulysees S. Grant already covered that. He got at least a tomb named after him. You couldn't even manage a sewage treatment plant. That would be an insult to shit, after all.

You couldn't even manage... anything. Worst. President. Ever. Exit, stage right.

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