Sunday, November 08, 2009


I can't wait until the day that the Governator is finally kicked out of office, and don't get me started on the power company conspiracy that unjustly dragged Gray Davis out of office, and led to the biggest clusterfuck of an election ever, with 135 candidates on the ballot. But here we are, the fifth largest economy in the world driven into the ground through deregulation, cronyism, waste and stupidity.

The latest indignity is the slashing of budgets for the state's animal shelters, cutting the hold period from arrival to execution for pets from six days to three. Whoo-hoo, hail the savings. But there's one very simple savings method -- as well as a way to guarantee a budget gets passed on time -- that I haven't seen yet. No surprise, because it would involve putting the pain where it belongs -- not with the people of California, but with the assholes who are supposed to run the place and keep it in the black.

Did I mention that all of us are now going to start paying more in withholding taxes? But, oh no, it's not a tax increase... it's just a "loan", and we'll get it back in April.

Well, fuck that. This is what we need, plain and simple: If there is not a state budget in place, or if the budget runs a deficit, then not a single elected official in the state gets paid. Period. None of the legislature, none of the executive, none of the judiciary. No mayors, no city councils, no judges. No district attorneys, no controllers, no sheriffs. No school boards, nobody who was hired by ballot. Period. If you haven't done your job, you don't get a check.

The savings would be immediate and huge, and the incentive to fix things would be enormous. And it's an answer to the arrogance of a failed legislature that dared to try to pay unemployment benefits with uncashable IOUs.

Step two: adopt the college model to the state budget. We can't trust this to the elected dorks who are the biggest welfare whores of all. In college, everyone paid student fees into a general fund and then, when the new semester started, everyone voted how to allocate that money among the various student groups. This is how the budget in California should be handled. Every November, the voters are given a list. "You have X Billion Dollars, allocate it among the following..." No haggling, no special interests (beyond the interests of the voters, which are the interests of the state), a simple mathematical decision once the votes are in. No negotiation, no bribery... and, if the people are way off in their allocations, then they only have themselves to blame, and will probably learn the next year, unlike the useless shits in suits we now have packed in Sacramento.

In fact, to extend this model a few steps further, it might be the first round in eliminating state government entirely. After all, what have they given us? More and clever ways to take our money and spend it on nothing; more and better ways to oppress us so they can get paid, so they can grease their campaign funders and flush our tax money down the toilet.

California, along with New York, has been one of the bellwether leaders in innovation. This is the innovation I suggest: California should be governed by all Californians. Sure, we've certainly had our fuck-ups (Prop 8, anyone?) but that fuck-up was mostly funded by Mormons -- who would have much less power if the voting was actually handled by the people, instead of the whore monkeys in Sacramento.

So, a modest proposal. As of January 1, 2010, we fire the State Assembly, Senate, Executive and Judiciary. Thereafter, everything is handled online by us. No one leads, so everyone leads, and we will never have to suffer a failed governor or a useless legislature again; will never have to bend over and submit to politicians who are only interested in maintaining their lifestyle while shouting "Let them eat cake!"

Hm. Which brings to mind the guillotine, and the satisfying thunk with every executed shitstain from the aristocracy, who demanded entitlement, but wasn't willing to pay the price.

Time to make those fuckers in Sacramento pay up, isn't it?

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