Friday, May 27, 2005

We Get Searches... 

Regular readers know I like to do the occasional "Strangest Searches that Got People Here" feature, such as here and here. I'm amazed -- although I shouldn't be -- at some of the completely pornographic searches that manage to point to pages here, entirely because widely separated phrases taken out of context match up with some perverse online porn-hunts.

This week's winners are:
  1. "wanking in petticoats", which led to a reference to Ajai Raj's wanking gesture after asking Ann Coulter a certain question, and a much separated reference to the Spokesman review's outing of the mayor of Spokane, as in "the Spokesman review snooping under your petticoats." Now, I forgot to check the ISP of this user at the time, but there's just something so veddy veddy British about that search.

  2. "what can I dry hump to make me horny", winner of the "most strangely specific request of the week", it took the hapless hunter to an article about the ridiculousness of teen abstince programs, probably including each of those words in entirely different sentences.

  3. "'adult man' needs spanking", from a Roadrunner user (ah, they're a filthy bunch), landed them on my advice that Rick Santorum just needs a good spanking.

  4. "fuck boyfriend in the ass" again landed on the Ajai Raj page. Now, granted, one look at Ajai's cute face certainly makes me think about ass-fucking, but this search was targeted at what I suggested a reporter should ask Ann Coulter: "Do you still fuck your boyfriend up the ass?"

  5. "pictures of father fucking his fifteen year old daughter", winner of the most disturbing search of the year if not decade; this came from a user at Dreamscape.com. Whether he was trying to find and suppress the evidence of his past crime or look for ways to commit a new one, I don't know. Let's hope, if he ever even attempts to act on that fantasy, he winds up in prison calling some fat, hair sweaty man daddy.
And that's it for this week's installment of "Strangest Searches that Got People Here", brought to you by SiteMeter.com -- more than just a hit counter.

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